I Wish I Could See You Again
by andromeda90
Summary: There is no bringing Donna back this time…..


**Warning**: Character Death

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**I Wish I Could See You Again**

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They had been laughing, on their way to get dinner; what they had been laughing about, Rachel couldn't remember, but she remembered the shouts. There had been chaos as the security and the armed criminals fought each other. Rachel didn't see any of that, because Donna had pushed her down, had wrapped herself around Rachel, shielding her with her body.

Sirens were heard and the robbers (it would not be until later that they learned the men had wanted revenge on one of the security guards) were soon apprehended.

Rachel had been relieved, everything turned out fine….until she turned to Donna, who was looking down at her hands. They were red and so was her coat and suddenly Donna was lurching to the floor.

Rachel knew she shouted Donna's name, shouted for help…but she couldn't recall that. She couldn't remember hearing her voice….only silence…..Rachel remembered silence. The ambulance was there and Rachel didn't hesitate to go with her, because someone had to, because Donna couldn't be alone.

There was a split second where she saw Harvey and Mike, saw them standing there, unreadable.

Donna was wheeled away the moment they reach the hospital, leaving her in the waiting room, forced to fill out paperwork for Donna.

She didn't notice that her hands were still red until she began trying to call Mike. There was red on her hands and she couldn't help rushing to the bathroom, heaving everything out of her stomach. Her voice trembled as she told Mike what had happened. She stayed in the bathroom scrubbing at her hands until they hurt.

Harvey was screaming at the nurses, needing to know about Donna. Mike stood by his side, trying to calm him but he wasn't trying that hard. He noticed Rachel first and suddenly Harvey and Mike had her cornered .She told them what she could, that Donna protected her, that she wasn't sure how it had happened.

Jessica walked in twenty minutes later, looking grim, not saying a word as she took a seat next to Harvey.

Louis was out of breath the moment he reached them; he ran all the way there. He opened his mouth but he quickly thought better of it, taking a seat on the other side of Rachel.

They sat there, in silence, leaning against the wall. Jessica. Harvey. Mike. Rachel. Louis.

They waited, wondering what the doctor was going to tell them.

Time passed without news. It may have been an hour or only ten minutes when the doctor came out.

Donna had been important to them. She had been there for them in different ways, but always she had been an anchor.

Nothing prepared them for the day that they would lose her.

Harvey wouldn't be able to bring her back this time. There was no bringing Donna back, his Donna. The one person who had stuck with him through every single thing. The one person who understood him without him having to voice it. The one person he depended on to always be there. Her. Donna. Was gone.

She was gone.

Mike was sure this all had to be a joke. He had just talked to Donna a few hours ago, had seen her smile, laugh, heard her voice. He could still remember her teasing him. There was no way she was gone, right?

He turned to look at Rachel, unable to understand, to comprehend that she was crying. The wrecked sobs were coming from her and her shoulders were shaking and Mike….had a fleeting thought that he should hug her, but he was frozen. He couldn't move, and suddenly he realized he couldn't breathe.

Louis had reached out to place a hand on Harvey's arm, to comfort Harvey or to comfort himself. Louis didn't know and it didn't matter. He couldn't stop shaking his head, couldn't stop chuckling, and chuckling, ignoring the way that his chuckles turned to dry sobs.

Jessica had dropped onto her chair, hands tightening around her phone. Donna. Gone. Jessica never saw that one coming. Never had she expected to lose such an important chess piece. Not because of what they brought to the game, but because of the history behind them.

They said nothing as they crowded around each other, each grieving for the person they had just lost. Comforting each other in the only they could, by just being there. There were no words they could utter, none.

The thought that her parents would have to be informed fell upon Jessica's shoulders.

Harvey would have protested, but he could barely make words. He couldn't bare to see her parents crumble, and it was stupid, but he blamed himself. And they would blame him too, they should. He should have been there, had saved her. He let her walk away from him, again. Now there was no way of bringing her back.

The funeral was short, with only her closest friends and family there. It rained but it was fine, it hid their tears.

Harvey looked on, regretting the day he first let Donna go, that day they decided that it was best to be friends. Why complicate things? Now, there was no hope of any future.

Rachel smiled through her tears as she remembered the many times Donna came around to cheer her up. Donna had wanted to go with her on her first day of law school, wanted to help her scout the place. Now that was never going to happen, Donna was never going to see her get her license.

Mike couldn't stop thinking of the day he first met Donna. She had pulled him into her world, had reeled him in, had set the stage. Like she always had. She had been there for him, but he never acknowledge it, taking it for granted….letting it slip by. The many times she tried helping him and never did he voice his appreciation.

Louis was one of the first ones to leave, unable to handle staying the whole time. He couldn't see her be covered by the dirt. She didn't deserve to be confined, not someone like Donna. She had been a free spirit, now she really was. They had planned to go to the new ballet opening, but now…..who would be his wing woman? Who would accompany him? Remind people that he was human? That he cared?

Jessica watched them, knowing that this would be hard to get back up from. She would miss her ally, she who would help reel Harvey in, she who could get Jessica information without anyone knowing. Jessica had thought she had told Donna how much her work was appreciated, but as she stood there, Jessica couldn't help doubting that…..had she let Donna know?

Assistants came and went. Not one staying too long.

They all went back to work. But nothing was like normal.

There were no more early morning quips.

No more retorts from over the intercom.

No more happy hour at four.

No more coffee runs with skim milk.

No more Shakespearean plays in the file room.

No more gossip from the other assistants.

No more chunky monkey.

No more easy fax access.

No more Donna Paulsen.

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_"Ugh, you're such a wuss."_

_"I don't play. I embody."_

_"I'm not some token you win at a fair. I'm a human being. I'm sorry, that just made me feel really cheap."_

_"Finally an office big enough for your balls."_

_"Well, my better side, they're both good."_

_"I'm sorry I don't have photographic memory, but my brain's already too busy being awesome."_

_"I'm remember fondly everywhere."_

_"The feelings go away eventually."_

_"Is the important thing that I know or how I know?"_

_"I don't appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty."_


End file.
